


a Quarrel in the Kitchen

by Anonymous



Category: Sesame Street (TV), VeggieTales
Genre: Daddy Kink, Dildos, Dom/sub, God is gonna ask us why we wrote this, Light Dom/sub, M/M, VeggieTales References, We were bored, cucumber dildo, on the counter, ruining our childhood, send help, the typos were on purpose, what am I doing with my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 09:58:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16083773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Bob and Larry want to get it on on the countertop when Ernie comes along and ruins their plans.





	a Quarrel in the Kitchen

The ceiling light shined brightly on the kitchen counter. Bob was basking in it when he heard his lover, Larry the Cucumber hopping up behind him.   
"Hey Bob," Larry exclaimed pointedly. "Just looked up some new kinks on QWERTY."  
"Cool babe, we'll have to try them out sometime." Bob repiled coyly.   
"How about just now?" Larry leaned over and licked a stripe up the tomatoes flesh, making him turn even redder.   
"Oh Larry, right here on the counter?" Bob batted his eyelasses repidly. Larry waggled his eyebrows.   
"You know it, my red dude, it makes this cucumber into a cuCUMber!!!!" Just then a loud stomping sound stepped down the kitchen. He had returned. It was the orange one. But he was no vegetable. Nor was he president. But rather it was a strange man, named Ernie. Bob turned to Larry.  
"No my love, not again," Bob uttered feverishly. Larry shuddered, then he steeled himself.  
"I am prepared to face again, the horrors I have seen." The two vvegetables fell flat on the counter stiff as Ernie's passion. Ernie gripped Larry tightly with his big strong, manly hands, and marched off to his bedroom. He shut the door but Bob knew all to well what would be happening in there. The sounds of Ernie's grunt echoed through the empty house. After several hours Ernie emerged from his lair, sweating and panting heavily. Sweat dripped from his hair and cum dripped from his trousers. Larry was drenched in Ernie's love juices. Ernie grabbed a paper towle and wipped the evidence off of the cucumber and dropped him beside Bob once again.   
"Larry my love,"  
"Snookums!"   
"Did he hurt you?" Bob declared   
"No, in fact I'm ashamed to say," Larry turned away bashfully. "I loved it."  
"It is ok Larry, we can have an open relationship" Bob reassured him. "But do you still have enough energy for me?"  
"Let's see" Larry chortled with a groan, nibbling on Bob leaf. Bob shuddered. the two dissapeared into the fruit bowl and weren't seen by their friends until dinner time.

The front door closed with a banf as Ernie's lover Bert returned home for the evening. He went to go look for Ernie but as he passed the trashcan he saw his lovers debris on the papertowle. he gnashed his teeth and burst into Ernie's room.   
"Are you ready for dinner hunny buns?" Bert accused kindly.   
"Boy am I! What are we having? Can we have breadsticks, daddy?" Bert grinned evily at his sub.  
"Sure, we can have some bread sticks with thte tasty salad I am going to make"   
"A salad???" Ernie responded nervously with a shudder.   
"Yes," Bert said. "With lots of ingrediants" Ernie followed Ber to the kitchen. As he got out a cutting board and a bigggg knife. Ernie watched timidly from the side as Bert began to pluck vegetables from the fridge. Bob and Larry, meanwhile, watched in horror as the lettus was taken and placed upon the cuttingboard for slaughter. A heafty whack sounded from the knife as it cut the letus into tiny bits.   
"No!" Shrieked Junior Asparagus as Bert's heafty hand grabbed him and his family, snapping them in half. They were thrown into a pot of boiling water and their screams were cut off my the lid. Ernie let out a whimper as Bert snapped Luara Carrot in half.   
"What's wrong baby boy? You gotta eat your vegetables if you want dessert." Bert continued. He reached down to grab Bob the Tomato and set him on th ecutting board.  
"Bob noooooooooo!!!!!!!" Larry pronounced. Bob wiggled but there was nothing he could do to stop the blade.   
"Larry don't cry for me. I still love you." Bob profused. "Save yourself!"  
"I'm not leaving without you Bob!" Larry shrieked   
"It's too late for me, go live your life, live your dreams." He managed to get out befroe his words were cut off by the whack of the knife.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Larry screamed. 

Next Bert reached for Larry, who was still morning the death of his tomatoe lover. Before he realised what was happening, he ound himself on the cutting board right next to Bob remains. He could still smell the tomato juice wafting through the kitchen.   
"Wait no!" Ernie cried out. "We don't need cucumbers, I don't even like cucumbers." Bert paused the knife and looked at Ernie with a glint in his eye.   
"Oh really?" He cackled. "Well then I'll just cut some for me."  
"No! Cucumbers arn't good for you! They give you salmonilla."  
Bert rolled around to face Ernie. "Admit it! You don't want me to cut up this cucumber becasue you love him!"   
"No I don't" Ernie recoiled.  
"Admit it, you love making love to this vegetable! You love it more than you love me!!!!!" Bert weeped.  
"No I don't!!!"   
Bert pointed teh knife at Ernie. "ADMIT IT!!!!!!!"   
Ernie put his hands up in surrender. "FINE! Fine, I do love him but not more than I love you, I swear!"   
Bert handed the knife to Ernie. "Then prove it!"   
Ernie took the knife with a shacky grasp, he tiptoed towards the counter. Then he raised up the knife with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry my sweet cucumber love." He murmered.   
Larry shut his eyes as Ernie brought the knife down upon him.   
Bert wrapped his arms aroung Ernie. "Good boy, now do you want that dessert?"

**Author's Note:**

> We were really bored. Don't take this seriously. Please. I'm fragile.


End file.
